Silver Mountain Notebook

At the risk of spoiling a memoir that I may write one day, I should explain why it’s been forever since I wrote anything here.

Briefly, the worst couple years of my life continue.

More later, but if anyone is still watching this space, know that there will be more content to come. The tone may shift a bit: I am no longer really actively marketing myself (for the moment) so things will probably get a lot more confessional and honest.

The self-editing will probably go out the window.

I don’t know how much detail I’ll go into here later, but for now, here’s the bullet points.
- I was laid off in 2024.
- This led to a rupture with most of my family in 2025
- This led to a year of living where we no longer wanted to live
- This led to my partner possibly being unfaithful and definitely ditching me
- This led to depression and increasing meds.
The details are enough to fill another book (after the memoir I already have in the works detailing my time with an apocalypse cult in college), but for now, that’s enough.

Oh, and FYI, I’m actually currently working on my fantasy epic again. More details on that later, I reckon.
memoir

–––––––

Aug 2
I have a bad habit of finding recipes for things, adapting them to fit my purposes on the fly, then never documenting what I did. Sometimes, the results are uniquely delicious and amazing, and often, I never manage to recreate the recipe again.

So here’s the first in what will be an occasional feature here: documentation of a recipe I tweaked and futzed with to make something tasty.

When asked what I was bringing for Easter, I told my brother that, in light of recent events, I wanted to celebrate the reason for the season — this season, that’s been Afroman, of course. His court victory over the police who tried to sue him for epically trolling them (after they raided his house, terrified his family, and stole some money) has been a rare positive in borderline-dystopian America.

One of the more popular songs he released was called Lemon Pound Cake, so, of course, that was the option.
(more…)

reason for the season

–––––––

Apr 14
when you’re having fun, when you’re busy, when you throw a clock out the window. You know when time doesn’t fly? When you’re waiting and you can’t even do much to distract yourself.

Finances are beyond tight, so it’s not like I can go do something fun to take my mind off… all the things. I’ve been trying to keep productive, but it’s pretty hard to focus when you’re looking at homelessness if something doesn’t give soon.

The best I’ve managed is to make sure I find something to apply to every day and keep up with my queries that are still outstanding.

I don’t feel as worried as I probably should. The truth is that it only takes one or two good days and things can turn around dramatically. I still haven’t gotten a substantive rejection from an agent, and it feels like I’m past the “we hate this on sight” window for most of them.

I also have a couple of positions that I interviewed for still outstanding. Any of them could come through with an offer any moment now.

It’s possible that I wind up with steady income and a representative taking my book out to publishers in a matter of weeks… I just have to remember that a single day feels MUCH longer when all you have to do is wait.

time flies

–––––––

Apr 9
I made a plan, and I’m sticking to it.

I actually made two plans:
1. query agents in small batches, only on Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays — refine based on feedback, and only send a new query if an agent drops out. Try and write in the meantime.
2. apply for any job I’m remotes qualified for, prepare like hell for applying and interviews, and take whatever comes my way.
So the plans are in motion – I have 20 queries outstanding, I submitted a story to a literary contest, and I’ve got three different jobs in the “waiting to hear back about interviews” stage.

It’s all waiting.

The literary part, I get it, it’s all glacial. But here’s the bit about the jobs that I don’t get. Everyone’s in a huge rush. Two of the interviews I’m waiting to hear back about, the interviewer said they wanted someone in by April 1.

Was this a set up for April Fool’s, were they just saying what they thought I wanted to hear, or were they just underestimating how long the process would take?

The other said that they want three more interview stages completed before they make their decision – before 4/10.

If there were agents who had my proposal and said I’d hear back with a decision today, I’d be going crazy having heard nothing.

Employers… Well, it’s the same thing. I am going crazy. I’m more used to HR departments being flaky as hell though, so I suppose I’m glad it’s one and not the other.

I wouldn’t mind at all, though, if both agents and employers wanted to go ahead and make some offers.
hurry up and wait

–––––––

Apr 1
I took a class on jurisprudence once – essentially on the philosophy of law. In it, we talked about logical fallacies (and I learned that an ad hominem attack as we understand it is actually ad personem attack. I won’t get into it because it’s boring).

One of the fallacies we talked about was something that always bugged me: the slippery slope. This argument is, as one might expect from something called a logical fallacy, bullshit. If anyone ever says anything is a slippery slope, they are full of it.

This was especially true in the context of legal discussions, because all the law does is draw lines in places. If you buy into slippery slope arguments, then you’d have to agree that setting the speed limit at 25 in the school zone is a slippery slope and, before you know it, people will be driving 500 mph through crosswalks full of kids.

It’s stupid.

But is it any more stupid or arbitrary than saying that allowing same sex marriage is a slippery slope to people marrying goats or everyone marrying their own kids? Because those are actual things people said to argue against same sex marriage.

And by the same logic, isn’t allowing ANY marriage a slippery slope toward child brides and turtle grooms?

That’s why it’s a logical fallacy.

I started writing this with the idea of discussing AI in creative writing. I almost said it was a slippery slope, but then I got angry about the concept itself and here we are.

But writers using AI is tricky and a thing to be handled with care. I haven’t and I won’t let it near any creative writing, but I will admit that I used AI to draft some query letters. I don’t know if that’s going to completely backfire, but I will say that it pasted some artifacts into one letter, and the agent who got it has now passed.

Was it because of the AI evidence?

I’ll never know.

But she passed on my clearly-AI-ed query letter the same day I first saw the news about Hachette pulling that horror novel for using AI.

Draw your own conclusions.

slippery slope

–––––––

Mar 27
I bought marshmallow fluff to make whoopee pies a long time ago. In fact, I had to throw out the jar I bought for that purpose when I went to get started. Turns out, it expired in 2025.

I don’t know what the shelf life is for marshmallow fluff, but I feel like it must be pretty long.

Anyway, I finally made them, and they rule.

They are under a glass dome to stop cats. Hopefully, this will also inhibit children, at least a little.

pies

–––––––

Mar 20
I believe it was Homer (the Simpson, not the poet) who said, “the waiting game sucks, let’s play Hungry, Hungry Hippos!”

I would submit that Hungry, Hungry Hippos isn’t a great pastime either, but just about anything beats waiting.

I interviewed for two roles and queried several agents in the last few weeks, and now I’m waiting. I’ve written in the past about how great it was to be able to work on something else while waiting for a response, but there comes a time when it’s just damn hard to focus on much besides the waiting.

Thankfully, the weather shifted. It rained all day Monday, and that evening the wind picked up and temperatures plunged. Overnight, it was all snow and ice, and we didn’t get above freezing for a while after that.

But by this time tomorrow it’ll be back to feeling like spring, and I will go walk around with headphones on trying to ignore my impatience.

the waiting game

–––––––

Mar 19
When I was little, I used to tell everyone who would listen that Friday the 13th was actually my lucky day. You see, I reasoned, if everyone’s having bad luck, that leaves all that good luck just kinda lyin’ around for someone to grab it up. And I grab it up, so it’s my lucky day.

My Daniel Plainview-esque view of luck — “I drink your Shamrock Shake!” — has not always worked out for me, though. I mean, I’m no Knights Templar about it¹, but I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever had a charmed Friday the 13th.

Last month on Friday the 13th I found out that my unemployment insurance application, which had been done for nearly a month, was actually not done. I got it processed, finally, which could be seen as a stroke of luck, but it was more a correction of bad luck from the previous month than actual good fortune on my part.

Today, I’ve managed to find some ways to save a decent amount of money, but this wasn’t really luck, either. If a program exists and I use it, that’s not luck — that’s how it’s supposed to work.

Now, I am supposed to hear back from a number of outstanding contacts today, and that could be extremely good news. I’ll feel like I really hoovered up all that luck if, for example, I get a bite from an agent or a job today. Likewise, if I win the lottery with the single ticket I bought today, obviously my childhood claims will be proved true.

So far, though, I feel like most Friday the 13th are just another day. Avoid summer camps with a history of questionable deaths and don’t walk under any ladders.
1. by which I mean I have not yet had the king of France seize my assets and have me arrested to be later burned as a witch. ↩︎
bad luck and friday the 13th

–––––––

Mar 13
Yes, I mean that as a reference to weapons — diablo 2 got remastered and I couldn’t resist reintroducing the world to Red Pants the badass assassin — but also to attacking life/career from two different lanes right now.

You see, I’ve been semi-employed for nearly two years now. I was laid off in mid-2024 and spent over a year searching/freelancing. Then I got a temporary role that was meant to last six months. About halfway through, I was assured that it would, in fact, become permanent.

It did not become permanent.

So I’ve been looking again for about two months.

Given that recent history, finances are not looking great right now, and you would think that I would be a nervous wreck. But here’s the thing, I’ve been writing while I’ve been job hunting.

And somehow, the double-track is making both tracks feels smoother. In February, I wasn’t getting anywhere with the job search, but I was working on my memoir proposal and writing and outlining. The work on my book was a real accomplishment that I was proud of, and that made the job search silence easier to take.

Now, I’m querying agents with the memoir material and I’m not hearing anything (it’s early still, but I’d like a fight over me). I also had a great interview for a role I’d knock out of the park yesterday, though. I have another interview tomorrow. So instead of feeling anxious about agents (I mean, MORE anxious), I’m feeling hopeful and good about the job search.

And before my interview tomorrow, I’m going to get to work on a short story or two. So if there’s silence on BOTH fronts next week, I’ll be able to focus on and feel proud of the work on that story and its potential for contests.

This trick will work even better when I’m just writing full time (knock on wood), but it’s helping me stay positive and keep working through the waiting and the hoping.

dual wielding

–––––––

Mar 11
Design is not my strong suit.

I fought this thing for what feels like hours to get a design so basic it’s almost no design at all.

Maybe one day I’ll fancy it up some, but for now, enjoy the bare-bones and basic appearance.

Incidentally, this color is one of my kid’s favorites, and he REALLY wanted a typewriter for Christmas this year. He got a pretty cool one (good work, Santa) — one of those portable jobs in its own case with big round keys and loud clacking. We never did get him an ink ribbon, so his attention has waned, but for most of that break, he was pounding away on it, writing letters in the last remnants of the old ink it came with.

So in a weird way, this mint green serif design feels festive. Merry Christmas.

design

–––––––

Mar 9